A Normal Valentine
by con2020tran
Summary: *One-shot* Ever since elementary school, Minami Touma knew she would never have a normal Valentine's Day.


_**A Normal Valentine**  
**  
**__**Focus: **Touma-centric._  
_**Timeline: **Chiaki's group's in their second year of high school. February._  
_**Summary:** Ever since elementary school, Minami Touma knew she would never have a normal Valentine's Day._**_  
Disclaimer: _**_I do not own Minami-ke or any of the recognizable characters in this fiction. Said characters belong to Sakuraba Coharu, Kodansha, Starchild Records, and any other copyright owners._

* * *

She was a spy at the top of her class, an expert at hiding in shadows and sneaking undetected pass security cameras. She was a master of disguise and the smoothest talker around, gifted at wiggling out of any situation unharmed. Her current mission was child's play compared to all prior dangers faced. Her feet shuffled cautiously and her fingertips danced lightly on the wall as she peered around the edge. She counted seven guards but their attentions were fixated on each other and an air of suspicion settled nicely among them. She smiled to herself. If they just stayed glaring at one another like that, she could slip by easily without alerting them...

"What the heck are you doing?"

The interruption was unwelcome and she addressed it without turning. "Quiet! Do me a favour and don't tell anyone I'm here."

A bored look. "If you're actually trying to hide, may I suggest somewhere nobody can see you? You look awfully suspicious hanging around the shoe lockers with that scarf and sunglasses set."

"I'll take suspension over getting ambushed any day."

"Well, congratulations," Chiaki replied sarcastically. "Not many would give up the opportunity to receive free chocolate." Then she crossed her arms over her chest and glared in an annoyed manner. "Just be a man and take their chocolate. It's rude not to accept a lady's feelings after she's worked so hard."

"Hey, you...!" Touma whipped off her sunglasses and glared right back, forgetting all about her role-playing game. "You don't _still _think of me as your little brother, do you?"

"You're wearing the boy's uniform, aren't you?"

Touma retreated a little. She couldn't argue this point, what with her currently sporting the male version of the school's blazer, blue to contrast with the standard white underneath, and a pair of trousers instead of a skirt. It wouldn't have been true anywhere else, but this school in particular was known for being fairly lax about uniforms; there were even stories about an upperclassman who used to roam the halls with his bare chest exposed.

"_This_ was your fault!" she exclaimed, pointing at her clothes for emphasis. She suddenly remembered that she should be talking in hushed tones and dared a look around the corner before going right back to her friend. "You're the one who went and pushed for it!"

Chiaki's eyes narrowed and her light brown hair fell forward in that scary way of hers. "So what, Bakayarou?" The fact that anger had slipped into her usual monotone did well to unnerve the taller girl. "Are you so incapable of thinking for yourself that you would blindly do whatever anyone told you to? Go run a thousand laps around the school then. Jump off a cliff. Feed yourself to a hundred snakes, five hundred tigers, and ten thousand flesh-eating ants. What are you waiting for, Bakayarou? I told you to do it so go right ahead."

Touma hung her head in defeat; Chiaki always managed to do this to her. How many years have passed since they met? Five? Six? Six years and she couldn't think of even _one _time when she emerged victorious in an argument against the self-proclaimed older sister. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have argued with you. It was my fault. I guess I wanted to wear the boy's uniform anyways." It was more of a character thing Chiaki had driven into her back when she was made her little brother. So she was lying and it really _was_ all Chiaki's fault. A witch if she'd ever met one.

"That much was obvious, Bakayarou. It's good though; a man should always yield to a woman in these situations." Chiaki's satisfaction stemmed from a weird source. She nodded as if it was necessary to agree with herself and proceeded to clasp her hand on Touma's shoulder. "Now be a gentleman and answer their feelings."

"Yeah, yeah..." Touma shuffled reluctantly from behind the corner but saw no one to greet her enthusiastically or shower her with gifts. She almost collapsed in relief―it was a welcome surprise indeed―and was about to brag to Chiaki when a sharp ringing interrupted her, echoing through the empty halls. '_Well_,' she commented as she stared at the vibrating bell. _'That _would_ explain it..._' She turned to Chiaki with a sheepish grin and the brown-haired girl matched it with her signature glare.

"Bakayarou."

* * *

"Well, it wasn't _my _fault. If those people hadn't been there in the first place, I would've gotten to class nice and early."

"Made to stand out in the hall carrying these heavy things; I can't believe you would subject your older sister to such cruel and unusual punishment." Chiaki tried to shift the weight over to her other leg and almost tipped over, prompting Touma to catch her with her back. The girl's waist-long hair swayed into her, feeling surprisingly heavy for its volume.

Aside from the obvious differences in height and body proportions, their physical appearances hadn't changed much from when they were children. Touma still preferred to keep her hair cropped someways down her neck―running around would be a hassle otherwise―and her bangs brushing near her eyes. She stood a few centimetres taller than Chiaki who, in her eternal admiration of her _real_,_ blood-related _older sister, refused to let her hair move from its location relative to her body. However, the trademarked bun-like ahoge still sat atop her head, and her half-closed eyes seemed to be frozen on her face. In Touma's opinion, an expression that foretold boredom and annoyance had no place on Haruka's face.

"Don't think I'm going to thank you," Chiaki warned, pushing herself off Touma and nearly toppling into the wall. Some water from the buckets they were punished to hold spilled out. "If you just went and accepted their chocolate like any normal guy, I wouldn't be out here."

"Are you going to pin everything on me now?"

"The man has to accept responsibility for his actions." Chiaki used the same line years ago.

"Fine." Touma turned and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms as best she could while holding the weights. A thought came to her. "Hey, Chiaki. Valentine's Day is supposed to be a day for girls to give chocolates to the people they like, right? Who're you giving your chocolates to? I saw you making them the other day."

Chiaki gave her a strange look. "They're for Haruka-neesama, of course; no one else deserves my chocolates. You're welcome to take the leftovers though. I'll give you yours at lunch... But you should have plenty of chocolate by then, right?

Touma sighed. "Please don't remind me."

"You're always saying you're a girl―"

"I am a girl!"

"―but you don't participate in the giving part of Valentine's Day, do you?"

"Ugh." She got her there. Maybe she should start trying harder. "I'll... do something about that next year."

"Well, it doesn't matter to me," Chiaki concluded with a shrug. She looked at Touma with an amused smirk. "You can try all you want, but you'll always be my cute little brother no matter what you do."

* * *

"Touma-san!"

"Touma-senpai! Please accept my chocolate!"

"No! Take mine!"

"Mine too, mine too, Touma-san!"

Touma let out a nervous laugh as the crowd of girls continued to shove wrapped sweets into her face. She kept her hands up in front of her, trying to communicate through body language that she'd really prefer not to receive the gifts. Unfortunately, none of them got the message and they went on surrounding her.

"Really, I'm sure you all have other people who'd you rather give chocolates to," she tried and backed into someone in her attempt to get away. When she cast a glance to apologize, a head was suddenly shaking vigorously at her. It freaked her out until she realized that the head was actually attached.

"You're a lot cooler than any of the boys in our class!" the girl exclaimed, and for once everyone agreed enthusiastically.

"Err... I'm flattered, but I really don't need them..."

It was the same every February the fourteenth: a group of over hyperactive girls, caught up in their idolatry, swarming and swamping her with numerous chocolate treats. The jealous glares from her male classmates were the same too. Usually the tradition gave the guys a chance to brag about their popularity; with their hands empty and Touma miles ahead of the competition, it was obvious from where their cold attitudes stemmed. She didn't even care for the chocolates, always―under the guise of _giri choco―_passing them on to her older brothers as soon as she got home. She felt a little guilty about it, but it wasn't like she could eat them all in the first place.

She sighed. Just once she wanted to have a normal Valentine's Day, free from all this insanity. Was that really too much to ask?

"Touma!"

There was no ignoring this cry. She looked up, past the now silenced fangirls, and found its source standing further down the hall with her head down and her hands stubbornly glued to her sides. The newcomer, dressed in a pink-sleeved shirt and yellow skirt, looked awfully out of place in the uniformed school, which would explain all the whispering and pointing. The girl refused to back down in spite of the commotion and kept her brown hair swept forward, cut short but long enough to obscure her face. A frown tugged at Touma's lip. Where had she heard that voice before?

"T-Touma!" the stranger tried again and she extended a stiff arm. Some squinting was required to see the bag of chocolates dangling from her hand. "I want you to accept these!"

The answer suddenly struck her.

And it took some serious will power not to let her jaw drop. Her eyes _did _widen though.

This. was. not. normal.

"Who's that?"

"She's not wearing our uniform so does that mean she snuck in?"

"I don't know whether or not to applaud her determination..."

"Doesn't she have any sense of shame?"

"Just shows how desperate she is."

Hearing their criticism, Touma blushed for his sake and took advantage of the opportunity to push past the crowd. She hurriedly made her way over, grabbed a hold of his wrist, and dragged him away into the stairwell without letting a word pass between them. Fortunately, she was met with no resistance and they kept climbing until they reached the final landing, exiting onto the rooftop. After making sure that they were alone, the blue-haired teenager sighed in relief as she fell against the cold metal door. Then she looked at the person in front of her and groaned in frustration. The view of the city was usually breath-taking from this height, but right now Touma cared nothing for the streets cloaked in whiteness.

In exasperation she brought her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. It was still too much of a shock. "Please... _Please _tell me you have a good reason for dressing up like that, Makoto."

"I do!" he insisted, but an open mouth later the boy chose to fold his hands behind him bashfully rather than elaborate on his words.

Back when they were in elementary school, Kana had invented this female character so Makoto could freely visit the Minami household without facing Chiaki's wrath. It was a role that Makoto had been delighted to play, but he went through hell and back trying to keep his identity a secret from the others. Being caught in a similar but infinitely less dangerous situation with Fujioka, Touma was the only person with whom he could find some empathy. Remembering this, the girl sighed and decided to brave the sight. She hadn't seen Mako-chan in years. Halfway through junior high, Makoto realized the threat to his life and quit while he was ahead. Kana refused to talk to him following this decision, but what mattered most to him was that Chiaki didn't go after his head with a chainsaw.

Close up she didn't know what to say. Apparently he could still pull it off―convincingly too. Unfortunately, Makoto was still Makoto and his constant fidgeting quickly got on her nerves. Touma wasn't speechless for long. "

Makoto held out the bag again and pointed accusingly. "See? It was the chocolate! The chocolate made me do it!"

"'The chocolate made me do it'?" she echoed sarcastically. "As far as I know, chocolates can _not_ magically transform you into a girl."

"Funny you should say that because I know this anime where a guy turns into a girl every time he gets wet."

"Please don't bring that stuff into a real-life conversation."

He laughed nervously. "Well, it seemed like the best way to approach you. I mean, it would've been weird for a guy to hand out chocolates on Valentine's Day."

"...Makoto, you _do_ realize that it's not exactly normal for a guy to dress up like a girl just to do that, right?"

A troubled frown slowly replaced his smile and he hung his head, kicked cutely at the pavement. "I wasn't enthusiastic about it either, you know, but I heard that you liked girls that way so I thought it would make a good impression. Somehow."

Wait. She just heard something weird. "What did you say?" Touma asked cautiously, unfolding her arms. She took a careful step towards him. "Where did you hear such a ridiculous thing?"

Makoto looked up and blinked several times in confusion. Then realization dawned on him and made his eyes all large and sparkly. He jumped and surprised Touma by grabbing onto her hands and clasping them in his own. "So does that mean you _don't_ swing that way?"

Touma could feel her face colouring; the blunt way he posed his question had something to do with it, but his cavity-inducing expression didn't help lessen it any. She had honestly never seen anyone look as adorably hopeful as Makoto did now, and if he weren't holding her hands she would have gotten as far away as possible. Not out of fear, mind you, but to avoid making a complete idiot of herself. "N-No..." No, stuttering was _not_ good.

Thankfully, the boy was idiotic enough for the both of them. His ass was practically glowing with joy. "So you wouldn't mind going out with me?"

Silence. Grays stared blankly into glittering browns. Then...

"Huh?"

That... made sense. It _was_ the reason why he got all dressed up in the first place.

Still...

There was nothing normal about _this_!

* * *

_**Note: **Yeah, an out-of-season Valentine's Day fic and frankly, I don't care. (Take _that_,_ _calender!) Blame that episode in Okawari for getting me going. I've always thought that Touma and Makoto would make an interesting couple and here you have what could be the beginning. I've_ _considered following this up with a multi-chaptered story, but plans are rough and I don't work well without planning ahead four years. Heh. You can tell with how weird this one turned out, huh? I really have to get this machine oiled. Or maybe I'm just naturally bad at writing humor. :laughs: Reviews are appreciated, whether they praise the piece or attack it mercilessly for being so random. _

_**Written: **August 16 2008 - August 28 2008_**_  
_**


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